This is my sister.Her name is Li Wenjing.She is twenty-four years old.She is tall and thin.She has a long,black and elegant hair.She has a small mouth and ears.two beautiful eyes.She is very like shopping.She likes beauty very much.She has a big clothespress,some skirts, T-shirts,a pair of jeans,some shorts and many shoes inside.She likes eating noodles,chocolate,orange juice,bisurites and peaches.We like each other.
修改后：
I want to introduce my sister to you. Her name is Li Wenjing. She is twenty-four years old. She is tall and thin. She has got long black hair. She has a small mouth and two beautiful eyes. She likes beautiful things very much. So she often goes shopping and she has bought lots of clothes. She also likes eating noodles, chocolate, biscuits and peaches. We like each other.