亟需我們對“一模卷”作充分反思。為幫助高三學(xué)生有效掌握高考英語(論壇)寫作方法，筆者對全市18個區(qū)縣的“一模卷”進行了整理、分析，最后驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn)，雖然各區(qū)縣作文形式上稍有不同，文體卻驚人一致，都是描述文。由此便有必要對一模卷的描述文寫作進行梳理歸類。
18個區(qū)縣“一模卷”作文文體有哪些？
第一類是觀點表述，談?wù)剬δ臣碌目捶�。浦東新區(qū)、閔行、長寧、楊浦、普陀、崇明、青浦、盧灣和虹口九個區(qū)縣都以此為作文主題，內(nèi)容從學(xué)生作業(yè)負(fù)擔(dān)過重到醉酒駕駛，到志愿者服務(wù)，不一而足。其中長寧和楊浦“不謀而合地一致”觸及社會熱點。可見，作文主題已從學(xué)校生活漸漸聚焦社會議題，這不能不引起注意。
第二類是寫信。徐匯、松江(使用徐匯區(qū)試卷)、寶山、閘北和黃浦五個區(qū)以寫信形式為作文要求，但信中內(nèi)容終究還是談對某件事的看法，如“本班的介紹和對新同學(xué)的要求或期望”、“回憶你高中生活中最難忘的點點滴滴，就他們即將開始的高中生活提出你的建議”、“火災(zāi)帶來的危害和預(yù)防火災(zāi)的重要性”、“中國達人秀”。
第三類是圖表。這次三個區(qū)的試卷以圖表考核學(xué)生寫作能力，但形式上略有不同：靜安為柱狀圖、嘉定為圖片、金山區(qū)則選擇表格。
第四類是活動介紹。本次�？�，奉賢區(qū)個性化地以活動介紹為作文形式。
評判作文質(zhì)量的關(guān)鍵是什么？
盡管形式多樣，但總的來說，主要提出兩個要求。描寫是其中之一，但描寫在我們看來只是幾句話帶過的“述題”部分，僅為引子。重頭戲是第二個要求，即要求考生看到事件背后的深刻主題而談出些有哲理的觀點，這才是評判作文質(zhì)量的關(guān)鍵所在。下面兩個例子可清楚說明這點。
例子一：請簡要描述此事并就“是否應(yīng)該鼓勵大學(xué)生去探險”這個話題談?wù)勀愕目捶ā?長寧區(qū))；
例子二：對市民遛狗(walk the dog)的描述；自己養(yǎng)寵物的經(jīng)歷或社會上養(yǎng)寵物的情況；你對養(yǎng)寵物的看法。
而浦東新區(qū)在這方面的要求更為顯豁�！瓣U述如何過生日更有意義�！�
從本次考試學(xué)生作文呈現(xiàn)的情況來看，學(xué)生在審題和具有邏輯性地表達方面還是有不少問題的。下面我們就浦東新區(qū)作文如何進行審題和如何進行具有邏輯性地表達方面作一些分析。
Directions:Write an English composition in 120 - 150 words according to the instructions given below in Chinese. 每個人每年都會過生日。請你簡要描述一下你通常是怎么過生日的，并闡述如何過生日更有意義。
很多同學(xué)對“有意義”這一概念感到困惑。何謂“有意義”？筆者認(rèn)為做一件有意義的事，是指作者獲得快樂、提高認(rèn)知或給他人生活帶來變化等，這些都可視為“有意義”。
寫作思路：這篇作文從段落分布上說，主要有兩層，比例以5/5或4/6為宜。
1.引入主題，簡要描述通常如何過生日，因為是說通常情況，語言以一般現(xiàn)在時為宜，而非描述過去某個特定生日。
2。.闡述一下如何使生日過得更有意義�？梢詮淖陨沓霭l(fā)，也可以泛泛而談。
結(jié)尾段。將主旨稍加提煉，可以單獨成段，也可以并入第二段。
本次“一�？肌钡淖魑拿}給我們帶來了深層的思考，如何讓學(xué)生在掌握新的單詞和語法的同時對于語言所體現(xiàn)的深層含義有更為精準(zhǔn)的把握，這是擺在所有英語教師和專家面前的關(guān)鍵性問題。
下面我們提供兩篇學(xué)生習(xí)作，供大家借鑒。
第一篇以從句的應(yīng)用靈活、語言的哲理性取勝：
My birthday never means cakes capped with inviting icing or throwing a crazy party. Usually, a simple piece of cake is bought for my mother, not for me, for I want to thank her for bringing my life and soul to this world and honor the hardships she had been through during her pregnancy. I would also feel needed when part of my money is donated to charity on that day. My birthday-just an ordinary day-spells two words: respect and give.
Birthday should be extended to a deeper thinking of life. Days are gone when we were surrounded by those who loved us and were soaked in "happy birthday to you." Instead, it should be our turn to care about others with our respect and affection. No man can live in this society without being connected to others.
All we’ve gained is largely due to others’ devotion and sacrifice. Our birthday has provided us with a platform to pay back what we’ve taken for granted and cherish what we’ve obtained. Show your gratitude and respect; give a helping hand to those who are desperate for help. All that makes our world a better place will make our birthday meaningful and prove our being mature. That’s what birthdays are all about!
點評：
該文章首先符合題目要求，而且邏輯性很強，中心段緊緊扣住respect和 give兩個字眼；再者，文中不乏精妙表達，如："throw acrazy party, honor the hardships, spell twowords, be extended to, be soaked in, takefor granted, be all about"；另外在從句應(yīng)用上也十分出彩，如"pay back whatwe’vetaken for granted and cherish whatwe’veobtained；give a helping hand to those whoare desperate for help；That’swhat birth－days are all about! "；最值得一提的是該學(xué)生在字里行間所折射出的思想成熟之美和具有體悟生活的哲理之美。
可見該作者在平日語言學(xué)習(xí)中不僅懂得積累，懂得靈活運用，而且還使自己的眼光更加深邃，洞察社會的能力更加敏銳，對待生活的態(tài)度更加自然，面對人生的道路更加自信。這是篇高分作文。
第二篇的優(yōu)勢是語言平實而層次脈絡(luò)清晰：
Everyone has his or her own birthday, so every year there is a special day for us to celebrate. Yet, how to observe it is a matter of personal taste。
Take myself as an example, when it comes to my birthday every year, my mum will reserve a big dinner in a restaurant. The whole family gather together, celebrating my birthday and wishing me a happy life and a successful future. Then we eat noodles which symbolize longevity. It seems like a happy day, but not necessarily a very meaningful one。
In my opinion, as it is a special day in our life, which means a step towards our growth, we should spend it in a more meaningful way. First of all, as it was our mum who gave birth to us years ago, with days passing by, it’s time for us to show our love and gratitude. We can do some housework or just say "Thank you for your care and love." Moreover, we should extend our concern to others who are in need of love and care. Also we can spend the day in the community helping old people or offering to take care of children。
Last but not least, the whole family can go on an excursion instead of having a big dinner. It’s a wonderful time to expose ourselves to nature。
In my view, it means much more to choose our own way to celebrate our birthday。
點評：盡管沒有華麗的辭藻，沒有復(fù)雜的句型，但行文流暢，層次清晰，是篇能效仿的好文章。這點提醒我們，只要懂得靈活應(yīng)用，只要表達恰如其分，哪怕是基本詞匯，通過非謂語動詞和一些句型，亦能妙筆生花�？上У氖墙Y(jié)尾戛然而止，有些流于平淡。
18個區(qū)縣“一模卷”作文文體有哪些？
第一類是觀點表述，談?wù)剬δ臣碌目捶�。浦東新區(qū)、閔行、長寧、楊浦、普陀、崇明、青浦、盧灣和虹口九個區(qū)縣都以此為作文主題，內(nèi)容從學(xué)生作業(yè)負(fù)擔(dān)過重到醉酒駕駛，到志愿者服務(wù)，不一而足。其中長寧和楊浦“不謀而合地一致”觸及社會熱點。可見，作文主題已從學(xué)校生活漸漸聚焦社會議題，這不能不引起注意。
第二類是寫信。徐匯、松江(使用徐匯區(qū)試卷)、寶山、閘北和黃浦五個區(qū)以寫信形式為作文要求，但信中內(nèi)容終究還是談對某件事的看法，如“本班的介紹和對新同學(xué)的要求或期望”、“回憶你高中生活中最難忘的點點滴滴，就他們即將開始的高中生活提出你的建議”、“火災(zāi)帶來的危害和預(yù)防火災(zāi)的重要性”、“中國達人秀”。
第三類是圖表。這次三個區(qū)的試卷以圖表考核學(xué)生寫作能力，但形式上略有不同：靜安為柱狀圖、嘉定為圖片、金山區(qū)則選擇表格。
第四類是活動介紹。本次�？�，奉賢區(qū)個性化地以活動介紹為作文形式。
評判作文質(zhì)量的關(guān)鍵是什么？
盡管形式多樣，但總的來說，主要提出兩個要求。描寫是其中之一，但描寫在我們看來只是幾句話帶過的“述題”部分，僅為引子。重頭戲是第二個要求，即要求考生看到事件背后的深刻主題而談出些有哲理的觀點，這才是評判作文質(zhì)量的關(guān)鍵所在。下面兩個例子可清楚說明這點。
例子一：請簡要描述此事并就“是否應(yīng)該鼓勵大學(xué)生去探險”這個話題談?wù)勀愕目捶ā?長寧區(qū))；
例子二：對市民遛狗(walk the dog)的描述；自己養(yǎng)寵物的經(jīng)歷或社會上養(yǎng)寵物的情況；你對養(yǎng)寵物的看法。
而浦東新區(qū)在這方面的要求更為顯豁�！瓣U述如何過生日更有意義�！�
從本次考試學(xué)生作文呈現(xiàn)的情況來看，學(xué)生在審題和具有邏輯性地表達方面還是有不少問題的。下面我們就浦東新區(qū)作文如何進行審題和如何進行具有邏輯性地表達方面作一些分析。
Directions:Write an English composition in 120 - 150 words according to the instructions given below in Chinese. 每個人每年都會過生日。請你簡要描述一下你通常是怎么過生日的，并闡述如何過生日更有意義。
很多同學(xué)對“有意義”這一概念感到困惑。何謂“有意義”？筆者認(rèn)為做一件有意義的事，是指作者獲得快樂、提高認(rèn)知或給他人生活帶來變化等，這些都可視為“有意義”。
寫作思路：這篇作文從段落分布上說，主要有兩層，比例以5/5或4/6為宜。
1.引入主題，簡要描述通常如何過生日，因為是說通常情況，語言以一般現(xiàn)在時為宜，而非描述過去某個特定生日。
2。.闡述一下如何使生日過得更有意義�？梢詮淖陨沓霭l(fā)，也可以泛泛而談。
結(jié)尾段。將主旨稍加提煉，可以單獨成段，也可以并入第二段。
本次“一�？肌钡淖魑拿}給我們帶來了深層的思考，如何讓學(xué)生在掌握新的單詞和語法的同時對于語言所體現(xiàn)的深層含義有更為精準(zhǔn)的把握，這是擺在所有英語教師和專家面前的關(guān)鍵性問題。
下面我們提供兩篇學(xué)生習(xí)作，供大家借鑒。
第一篇以從句的應(yīng)用靈活、語言的哲理性取勝：
My birthday never means cakes capped with inviting icing or throwing a crazy party. Usually, a simple piece of cake is bought for my mother, not for me, for I want to thank her for bringing my life and soul to this world and honor the hardships she had been through during her pregnancy. I would also feel needed when part of my money is donated to charity on that day. My birthday-just an ordinary day-spells two words: respect and give.
Birthday should be extended to a deeper thinking of life. Days are gone when we were surrounded by those who loved us and were soaked in "happy birthday to you." Instead, it should be our turn to care about others with our respect and affection. No man can live in this society without being connected to others.
All we’ve gained is largely due to others’ devotion and sacrifice. Our birthday has provided us with a platform to pay back what we’ve taken for granted and cherish what we’ve obtained. Show your gratitude and respect; give a helping hand to those who are desperate for help. All that makes our world a better place will make our birthday meaningful and prove our being mature. That’s what birthdays are all about!
點評：
該文章首先符合題目要求，而且邏輯性很強，中心段緊緊扣住respect和 give兩個字眼；再者，文中不乏精妙表達，如："throw acrazy party, honor the hardships, spell twowords, be extended to, be soaked in, takefor granted, be all about"；另外在從句應(yīng)用上也十分出彩，如"pay back whatwe’vetaken for granted and cherish whatwe’veobtained；give a helping hand to those whoare desperate for help；That’swhat birth－days are all about! "；最值得一提的是該學(xué)生在字里行間所折射出的思想成熟之美和具有體悟生活的哲理之美。
可見該作者在平日語言學(xué)習(xí)中不僅懂得積累，懂得靈活運用，而且還使自己的眼光更加深邃，洞察社會的能力更加敏銳，對待生活的態(tài)度更加自然，面對人生的道路更加自信。這是篇高分作文。
第二篇的優(yōu)勢是語言平實而層次脈絡(luò)清晰：
Everyone has his or her own birthday, so every year there is a special day for us to celebrate. Yet, how to observe it is a matter of personal taste。
Take myself as an example, when it comes to my birthday every year, my mum will reserve a big dinner in a restaurant. The whole family gather together, celebrating my birthday and wishing me a happy life and a successful future. Then we eat noodles which symbolize longevity. It seems like a happy day, but not necessarily a very meaningful one。
In my opinion, as it is a special day in our life, which means a step towards our growth, we should spend it in a more meaningful way. First of all, as it was our mum who gave birth to us years ago, with days passing by, it’s time for us to show our love and gratitude. We can do some housework or just say "Thank you for your care and love." Moreover, we should extend our concern to others who are in need of love and care. Also we can spend the day in the community helping old people or offering to take care of children。
Last but not least, the whole family can go on an excursion instead of having a big dinner. It’s a wonderful time to expose ourselves to nature。
In my view, it means much more to choose our own way to celebrate our birthday。
點評：盡管沒有華麗的辭藻，沒有復(fù)雜的句型，但行文流暢，層次清晰，是篇能效仿的好文章。這點提醒我們，只要懂得靈活應(yīng)用，只要表達恰如其分，哪怕是基本詞匯，通過非謂語動詞和一些句型，亦能妙筆生花�？上У氖墙Y(jié)尾戛然而止，有些流于平淡。
